FAKE

Jona has discovered an alternate reality of fake things in life, specifically fake FAVORITE things. This realization was brought about by fake favorite movies and has since been expanded to and fake favorite memories, numbers, shortcuts, jobs, I don’t know...pretty much anything.

Fake Favorite Movies:
Many of you (I’m so optimistic on the number of people that actually read this) are wondering what the purpose of a fake favorite movie is. Let me explain: Perhaps you have been asked "what's your favorite movie?" and have no answer. That’s where the fake favorites join the scene. Now you automatically have an answer when you are asked AND have an opportunity to be funny and witty, which is always a bonus when you're itching for some street cred.

For those of you unversed in fake favorite movies, there are a few stipulations that must be met in order for a movie to qualify as a fake favorite movie.
1. It must be a movie you like, alot. With potential to actually be your favorite movie- leaving some doubt in their mind as to whether it really is your favorite movie or not.
2. It must be slightly embarrassing to tell people that it is your favorite movie.
3. It should be an older movie that is fairly unknown and if possible, under appreciated.
4. It cannot be a real favorite movie e.g. Gladiator, 6th sense...
5. It cannot be a Disney movie.

Fake Favorite Memories:
There is a large possibility that this one only applies to me. It would go in the category of things that you think are real, but alas, are not. OR maybe if you really want something to happen but it never has. That would also qualify as a fake favorite memory.

Fake Favorite Job:
Seeing as I don’t have and actual job, I must invent a fake job. I’m still working on this one cause I want to make it really good.

my fake reality

I have a terrible problem with distinguishing my dreams from reality. I have always had this issue it's just never been brought to the forefront of my attention until my roommates started pointing out that about half of my stories end with, "hmm, maybe that was a dream." I think it started when I was telling them about the creepy neighbors that lived down the street from us in Wisconsin and how their house always looked dark and the one time I was riding my bike when one of them started chasing me so I rode as fast as I could up the hill to our house, threw my bike on the lawn and went inside and locked the door. I still to this day, am unsure whether or not it’s true or not. So that one could be vetoed. There is countless other evidence from my childhood:

I did all my chores the best and was rewarded with going on a daddy-daughter date; we headed over to the new mall that had recently been finished to eat dinner. We went inside and I saw a GIANT ROLLER COASTER inside the mall!! I knew I had to ride it; and dad said we could do whatever I wanted that night so I knew it was in the bag! I wanted to go even before we ate dinner, but dad said we had to eat before we could go one the roller coaster.

I was genuinely excited when relaying this story back to my roommates. My roommates looked at me quizzically and I began to doubt. My dreams were shattered. I realized that the new mall was actually Park Meadows and I'm pretty sure that the roller coaster would still be there today if they had put it in when they first built it and I think it is now a food court. It’s really disappointing just to see my childhood memories crushed like a leaf... it makes me wonder what else wasn't real from what I remember of my childhood.

Now that I am getting better at remembering my dreams this happens a lot more often now:

I was exploring all the things that Cedar City has to offer upon which includes Jolley's Ranchwear my roommates came with me and we were playing and trying on hats and cowgirl boots in various colors and styles. We were the only ones in the store because I assume that they receive limited business in save the VIP customers so they were glaring at us but they never said anything. We eventually left without buying anything and we were completely satisfied.

So I really was in Jolley's Ranchwear yesterday, I had to drop off a few of the paint the town red card things...and as soon as I stepped in the door I had déjà vu. I stopped and stood there for a second trying to analyze whether I had actually been there before and the scene above played in my head. It was then that I had an inkling that maybe I really hadn’t gone into Jolley's Ranchwear with my roommates and that had ALSO been a dream. I got home and asked Emily if she ever came with me to Jolley's Ranchwear. She looked at me again, as she always does when I propose one of my dreams to her, and I bent my head in shame--not again, not again.

If I've told you a story and you think it's really a dream, you should post it on here cause I want to make a list of all of them.

respect for the Star Wars nerds

Ok, so there are countless individuals that are truly dedicated to the Star Wars fan club and in so joining this fan club they must buy all Star Wars paraphernalia, special edition/extended version movies, figurines- including the entire LEGO sets. I'm not talking about the normal TIE fighters or x-wing fighters--kids stuff. Im talking about the MILLENNIUM FALCON! this 5,195 piece, $500 set takes an experienced team of 7 a record of about 3 hours but i would assume that it would take maybe 15 hours by yourself, maybe 20 who knows. i cant even imagine if you made a video of it. you would have to be an incredibly dedicated fan of the series. But I think that these guys just go WAY above and beyond anyone else that has attempted this. Not only did they:
a. buy the $500 set
b. complete the 5,195 piece set
c. make a video of the construction of this set
d. make a video of the construction of this set COMPLETED BY LEGO MINIFLIGS REENACTING 'ACTUAL' EVENTS!

Building the LEGO Millennium Falcon from Gizmodo on Vimeo.

I can confidently say that a very unnecessary amount of time was spent in the making of this video but i think it was definitely worth it. Maybe that's just the Star Wars nerd in me but I can say that I have a higher respect level for the guys that took the time to make this 12 minute video. Not to mention the building time, I think I saw somewhere that it took 38 hours, but that could have been someone else. Nonetheless, at least a full work week was spent dedicated to George Lucas. I approve. And i dont know if you noticed or not, but that movie is pretty dang accurate to how it really happened. Well done guys, well done.

most entertaining waste of my time

I have found a new favorite website which adds to my list of sites that are 'the most entertaining waste of my time especially when I'm sitting in class' these sites include:
1. Gear Attack: 'keeping gear addicts up to date on great prices one deal at a time'
2. geekologie: 'a geek blog dedicated to the scientific study of gadgets, gizmos, and awesome. There are a lot of shiny new things out there, and Geekologie is dedicated to finding every last one of them for you.'
3. woot! and shirt.woot! derby: 'America’s most sensational fashion sensation! Oh, wait, we were thinking of those rubber wiffle-slippers everybody wears now. Shirt.Woot, on the other hand, is a web site that applies the Woot model to selling t-shirts: a new one every day at midnight Central time, sold cheap.'
4. Facebook: 'gives people the power to share and makes the world more open and connected'
5. Yahoo!: varies from '600 spam messages' to 'no unread messages in your inbox'

as I write these I realize how limited my access of the world wide web really is; also, how sad it might be that i get my current events from facebook and geekologie rather than a CNN which claims to be 'among the world’s leaders in online news and information delivery' But than again, according to google so does www.beacononlinenews.com, www.nowpublic.com, www.twitter.com and www.worldtek.com so i dont really know who to believe anymore and I think I should start just worrying about my immediate surroundings like they did before phones or computers, just to simplify my life.

Remain Bless Mobolaji

I received an email today, and i have about 346 junk mail emails DAILY and I usually just glance at them long enough to know that I never want to see it again and delete it shortly after that. But for some reason, this one caught my eye and I don't know why (hehe):

Dear Sir

I contact you because I need a responsible and humble person who I can make business with.pls your assistance is very important to me because i have a good huge amount of money to start my life over there.

i will like to invest this money in abroad but will like to sit down with you one on one to discuss it before we go further.

so that we can both understand the kind of person i am..because i realised that different things are going on internet.that is why i will like to sit with you to discuss the issue with you.

Mobolaji Festus
Thanks and remain bless.

There are SO many things wrong with this little ‘plea (SCAM) letter’ First of all: Sir—come on Moboloaji! I can accept that most people cant remember my name but they can usually remember my gender. Also, the amount of grammer mistakes can only lead me to believe that I should never contact nor waste my time to even finish reading this letter. But I didn’t so it continues. Here’s my favorite part: the third paragraph is pretty much priceless and gets better with every word. So we can both understand the kind of person I am.. what could someone be thinking, ‘oh yeah, he sounds like a nice guy I should give my money to invest “abroad.”’ Or perhaps you could be thinking, ‘You’ve got to be joking me Mobolaji, there is no way that I would help you invest, or MEET with you to find out that you are in fact, a creeper.’ Yeah, remain bless.

Wink Weakness

I obviously am human, and therefore have many weaknesses. One that has become most prevalent in recent days is my winking weakness. I wasn’t aware of my inability to wink until I found Emily. She is one of the best winkers I have ever met. Her wink is just subtle enough that you don't really know what hit you. you just feel this flustered feeling inside that makes you so happy that you feel like you have just been attacked with sunshine dust! Her wink makes you do a double take because you’re not really sure if it was meant for you; it makes you want her to do it again-and truth be told, she would do it again if you asked her but you couldn’t just flat out ask her to wink at you again, are you even allowed to do that? -- wish someone to just throw out their exquisite talent to the wind, I think not! Would it really be as precious as the first time? But you almost missed that wink so you definitely want to see it again. And again, and again. She really is THAT good. It happens like that every time.

Perhaps my winking weakness is more of a self conscious feeling since I now see what a wink is supposed to look like and I obviously do not match up to her level, I don't think I will ever be able to get to that level either. I have a very cheesy wink, you know that Lindsay Lohan wink: yep, that's me. I know right, and no matter how serious I try to be it always ends up looking cheesy. I can’t wink without opening my mouth just like Lindsay, with my cheek moving up to close one eye rather than my top eyelid just closing. What's even sadder is that I really do have to concentrate to do it too, because if I don't, I end up just blinking or squinting and feeling even more retarded than I would have if I actually tried.

Gas Price Perspective

People always complain about gas prices going up, fortunately they are low right now but they wont stay that way forever. It is one of the few things that we actually notice when the price goes up. Obviously the effect of other items goes up as well with inflation and all of that but it is much less noticeable. If you think about it though, gas really isn't that expensive. I mean how many people buy a Starbucks everyday for what, $4 or a 20 oz drink for a dollar even if you buy a 2 liter, you might get it for a dollar. But gas is still cheaper than that, lets be optimistic: if you bought a 20 oz soda for $1, that would be an average of $2.25 a gallon. How far does that really get you though? Maybe a few hours before its flat or warm, but $2.50 for a gallon of gas....that gets me 30 miles it could last me like a WEEK (only in Cedar City, but that's beside the point). The possibilities are endless within a 30 mile radius! I still get a way better deal buying a gallon of gas than I do spending that money on a soda. So next time you buy complain about gas prices, then go buy a soda, think of the consequences that soda REALLY has on your budget.

Usernames from the past

So when the internet first became popular and everyone created email addresses and AIM screen names they were all some sort of inspired representation of themselves. I even fell into the creative username trap; my first AIM screen name was prncssbubbles45 and my email was little_tinkerbell_girl@hotmail.com who knows if its still active, its probably just full of spam mail now or someone who sent me an email because I wrote it in their yearbook. But how can you blame a helpless 8th grader wanted to be a part of the social network that is the internet. I've noticed that it's not just young pups trying to find themselves in this world that have representative usernames, my dad also suffers from this form of self expression. gonehikingtoday@yahoo.com or something like that is one of his emails. I'm not sure what makes people decide that they should have a "grown up" username; for me, it was applying for scholarships. I had this feigned image of myself in college and i felt that to complete the image, i needed to create a more sophisticated username. this was the beginning of sharnarossberg@yahoo.com. It definitely got my point across, I wasn't some tinkerbell_girl that you were just throwing your money at, I was a responsible adult that deserved to get payed to go to school. Unfortunately, my email address had little affect on the money i received, which was pretty much nothing Since i focused on the impact of my email address rather than my application, might have also stunted my merit of getting any scholarships. I feel that I am still a better person for abandoning the tinkerbell_girl of the past and moving on to bigger and better things. Changing my email address has possibly been the best thing I've done for myself ever since i discovered that putting ranch dressing on anything amplifies the flavor ten fold. I do still hang on to that prncssbubbles45 character though in case i need to reminisce the summer of 2002 past.

Stress in my life

I get very stressed out about really mundane and irrelevant things. Its very strange, and they usually only last for a very small amount of time, I don't get over it, it just ends fer example: getting things out of vending machines. I am utterly terrified to buy things in the event that I either type in the wrong code and get the wrong thing, or i type in the right code and STILL get the wrong thing. Its something that plagues me everytime I attempt to get anything from a vending machine, which is why i typically avoid them most of the time. I dont know where this fear has stemmed from because I dont recall ever getting the wrong thing, but the fact that they do have those terrible cheese crackers with peanut butter in the middle that have been in there for probalby months on end is terrifying on the off chance that I might have to be in possession of them and eat them because i counted out all my pennies to get them.

Something that also terrifies me, and I feel I have legitimate reason to fear is those visual word verification things. I always struggle with them on the internet. It's one of the hardest, most stressful things. The whole pick a password, and username... nothing, I'm pro. But the stupid verification thing i ALWAYS get either the "The characters you entered didn't match the word verification. Please try again." or "Enter the letters as they are shown in the image." messages! As if I didn't see the letters in the first place. Maybe the fact that I usually get them wrong adds to my stress. And I never know if I am going to get kicked off for trying too many times. Because of it I always debate whether to click the handicap button. I dont think that would be any better, and I feel like I shouldn't need to use it because I'm not really sure who it would be used for. The first thing that comes to mind would be blind people that can't see the letters to type so they verbalize them, but I'm not sure how a blind person would be able to use a computer in the first place. Maybe I should use the handicap button and I could feel much more confident in visual word verification abilities. Perhaps it would help me overcome my weakness as well. Maybe my world will open up if I'm not worrying about verifying everything.